Stalker

A woman was murdered by a stalker recently near here. It made me think again about how some men consider sex to be an entitlement. In fact, the majority of men consider sex an entitlement.

The urge is primal, powerful. It certainly seems like a need too strong to deny. And even when you develop the ability to step back from it, you can never take its control for granted. But it is not yours to demand, guys.

Stalkers and killers of ex-wives and girlfriends are pathetic men. On some level, they know this. But well before resorting to violence, men can certainly do a lot of sniveling and posturing when matters carnal don't go as they might have wished.

Considering the stakes involved for women, the answer "no" should be assumed. The so-called Sexual Revolution of the 1960s confused the issue by reducing the potential liability, but only if certain precations and methods were followed. And it was not going to undo countless generations of biological reflex.

Wild animals do not control their sexuality, they merely experience it. Breeding behavior is another sorting characteristic. As long as the method works, the species survives. If the method fails, the species might develop a new strategy or they might just die off. Either way, the old order is gone.

Humans not only get to choose how they act, they seem beset with the whole spectrum of desire, from the little furries who mate early and often, banging out litters of a dozen, to the irascible she-bear who will kill a male except when she's in season. Just about any animal behavior you can imagine is reflected in humanity. Yet we persist in trying to view ourselves as a uniform group.

Different people feel different pressures. We try to sterilize our love, assuming the biological side is subordinate, even contemptible. But then it breaks its bonds in unfortunate ways when one participant or another can't retain the level of control that seems mutually agreed.

We are the only species that gets to redefine success. Success in nature simply means producing a new generation, which can then produce a generation of its own. But we are so far from candid, natural life that we not only can but must define success in other ways. Either that or return to breeding thoughtlessly and letting culling forces physically weed out the losers. Every form of mortality goes up.

We seem unwilling to return to such a kill-and-be-killed methodology. I can't complain. In a natural order, I would have been dead long ago. But that brings us back to self control and conscious direction of all personal behavior.

It didn't work out. Get over it. If it makes you want to kill her, it ain't love, pal.