Friday, March 04, 2005

Gender traits

Women are different from men. Distinctly separate but equal. So it is fair to refer to some qualities on a gender basis until further research proves otherwise.

In the universe I inhabit, women do not refill liquid soap dispensers. When the level in that little pump bottle gets too low for the pump to bring any up, they start adding water.

What at first seems like a sensible, frugal move to liberate the last of the soap from the bottom of the bottle never stops there. They continue to dilute the remains until the bottle contains only vaguely soap-tinged, slightly slippery water.

In a shared space, one of the men will notice and refill the dispenser. Men's function is primarily janitorial. That's all right, someone has to do it. But for how long do the women endure the cold, insipid ghost of soap in their own exclusive bathroom before they finally look for a proper refill?

To be fair, the men don't even have the imagination to add water. We just hit the pump harder to see if we can bully it into coughing up a usable blop of soap. Only when brute force utterly fails will anyone bother to dig out the big jug and refill the little bottle.


Mrs. Umm said...

Now wait a minute. THIS is a blatant generalization. As one of the women in question (of which we can count a grand sum total of THREE), I feel compelled to defend myself and expose this charlatan for the gross exaggerating storyteller that he is. While it is true that I will, in fact, add a little water to the soap dispenser when it gets low, it is not true that I don't refill it. I don't even get a CHANCE. Before I can go to the store and get a nice moisturizing liquid soap to refill or replace the dispenser, I find it has been refilled (by elves?!) with that horrid orange antibacterial slime. Some people can't wait to correct and exclaim about other people's foibles, real or imagined.
Take that, cafiend!

cafiend said...

Isn't she great? Don't you love her as much as I do?