Thursday, November 22, 2018

Troubleshooting Scrooge

As the holidays approach and some regions already have winter thrust upon us, the misunderstood character of Ebenezer Scrooge will take to the seasonal stage.

Scrooge’s offense was not that he thought that the holidays are bullshit, it’s that he was a chintzy employer and an exploitive landlord and lender. Amazing how he is embraced as a great guy when he softens and starts sharing some of his customers’ own money with them in the form of Christmas largesse.

Largely viewed as a misanthropic cheapass, Scrooge was living a low budget lifestyle because he couldn’t see the point of living more extravagantly. This is completely legitimate. So is your festive brightness and cheer, if you choose. Just bear in mind that large indoor gatherings with lots of hugging and shared food are the reason that the season ushers in the plagues of colds, flu, and contagious vomiting illnesses.

Dashing through the snow
To a toilet or a shrub —
Hope I’m not too slow.
I ate some tainted grub.
Was it the hors d’oeuvres
or maybe bad eggnog —
Aunt Alice didn’t look too good;
I thought it was the grog.

Jingle bells, this was swell
Parties are great fun —
but I’m green around the gills
and so it’s time to run...

It’s all in your outlook, of course. I have enjoyed many holiday events and jolly festive times. I’ve also been a casualty. If this is when you can get the gang together, and that's what you're up for, do it. But the short days also favor solitude. Mentally if not actually, I try to find a high and lonely place in which to squint toward the distant sun barely giving us a nod as it flies low across the southern sky. It doesn't even need altitude if it has a good sweep of horizon and sky. A nice beach or coastal marsh will do quite well.