Friday, April 28, 2006

Apparently we've been misspelling it

Either we've been reading it wrong or they should consider changing it. The name of a certain Arab country shouldn't be spelled Dubai. It should be spelled Dubya.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Monday, April 24, 2006

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Beyond the Bill of Rights

The one freedom our Constitution can't provide is the freedom from each other's taste.

The constant challenge is to figure out what matters go beyond harmless opinion.

Before Ugly Sweaters

Life itself is the first gift we receive from well-meaning relatives who have never met us.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

It's Happening

I caught the last few minutes of a nature show on PBS a couple of nights ago. It had been documenting a troop of baboons.

The narrator was telling the story of a young baboon whose father had been the baboon king. Another baboon killed the king and took possession of his mate, the young baboon's mother. As the narrator put it, the young baboon had to watch as his father's killer married his mother.

The young baboon wandered around looking depressed.

Wait a minute. This sounds a lot like the plot of Hamlet. My god, given enough time, monkeys really will produce the works of Shakespeare.

It puts the Bard in a whole new light, not to mention the efforts of the Royal Shakespeare Company.

Actually, if you believe in evolution, apes already did produce the works of Shakespeare, in the person of the man himself. So anything they come up with now is at best an encore and at worst plagiarism.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

I Guarantee

If Election Day was held on April 16th we would have a simplified tax code by the following year.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Live Free or Die?

I heard some guy out on the sales floor mumbling "live free or die" because we had required his wife to wear a cycling helmet while test riding.

I'm really starting to think New Hampshire needs to change its motto to Get Over Yourself. Most of these people really haven't thought through the full ramifications of the "or die" part.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Possible Doyle Defense

What if you're sexually turned on by undercover cops impersonating adolescents?

"Oh God. Tell me he has a buzz cut....that's so hot.

"Do you suppose he's wearing a shoulder holster? Oh, yeah...

"Lie to me, lawman, lie to me. You're right! I AM scum!"

Would that be illegal?

What's Your Slogan?

The New Hampshire legislature is considering changing the slogan on state highway welcome signs from "You're Going to Love It Here" to "Live Free or Die."

No one has proposed changing the slogan to something as candid as "Welcome to New Hampshire: Spend Your Money and Get Out."

In typical New Hampshire fashion, the change has been held up by the House Finance Committee because they can't figure out how to get it paid for by money they extract from people who don't live here. I can't complain. I live here. And after 19 years in New Hampshire's hardscrabble economy I can understand wanting to keep things cheap. The only way to get rich here is to be rich when you get here.

Monday, April 03, 2006